Bad Blood
by girlinshipwreck
Summary: Alais Lerner inwardly rebels against her sister's regime at Grady Memorial Hospital, whilst outwardly upholding its rules. Inspired by Beth's failed break-out, she attempts one of her own, only to find herself in the middle of a war. Forced to choose sides by Rick Grimes, Alais has to battle the taint carried by her bad blood if she wants to survive. {AU}.
1. Burden

******Author's Note: ******_Videos for this story, including characters canon and original, can be found on my Youtube channel under **girlinashipwreck**_

* * *

><p><strong>Burden<strong>

_Before_

Alais kept her gaze fixed on the empty plate in front of her, biting her lip to keep the tears at bay, tugging the sleeves of her jumper over her balled up hands, hiding her bruises further from sight.

"Cheer up, kid," Gorman grinned, his gaze lingering too long on her face as he shovelled another slice of turkey into his mouth, "anyone lookin' at you would think the world had come to an end or somethin'."

"Yeah, snap out of it," Licari muttered, his muscles straining under his checked shirt as he reached over for the gravy boat, Hanson passing it to him, "you're puttin' me off my food."

"Alais, eat up," Dawn called from the other end of the table, "we're meant to be celebrating here."

Alais stared at her sister, taking in her immaculately made-up face, the salon-straightened hair and designer dress, the very epitome of elegance. No one looking at her would think she'd just spent ten minutes straight beating her little sister with their parents' wedding picture. After catching Joel in Alais's room, she'd lost the plot, and there was nothing Dawn hated more than losing control. She had standards to keep, an example to set. So she'd punished Alais. Dawn didn't want to, but she had to.

Joel had been barred from the house for a reason. His very presence threatened everything Dawn believed in, and she'd be damned if she let him destroy all she'd striven to build for herself and Alais. Joel was an affront, an insult. He carried disorder and disrespect for authority in his wake, disturbing the careful balance of the Lerners' existence. Whatever Alais felt for him had to be sacrificed for the greater good, for the second Dawn lost sight of the future she had planned for her little sister, it was all over.

Alais glanced down at her plate again, wishing she wasn't here, that she'd been born in another family, any family apart from this one. Their father had died just before she'd been born, killed by a drunk driver, his death tearing the family apart. Their mother had served as an officer in the Atlanta Police Department, burying her pain in her job, neglecting her children for the release law enforcement gave her. She'd been revered by her colleagues, becoming a saint in her death after being killed on duty whilst attending a liquor store robbery.

Dawn had been twenty at the time, intent on following in her mother's footsteps, despite not showing much promise in the position. After her mother's death, she'd taken on the responsibility of Alais, combining her career with raising her sister. But it was a career fraught with tension, Dawn crossing too many lines, assaulting those taken into custody and turning a blind eye elsewhere.

But she wasn't the only one abusing her authority, there were others, Gorman and O'Donnell, and there were those who looked the other way like Shepherd, Licari and Bob Lansom. Corners were cut and strings were pulled to cover up the corruption, Captain Hanson protecting their image by sweeping everything under the carpet. And now Dawn had been promoted, another deception to deceive the world with.

"Come on, your sister's just been promoted," Shepherd said, interrupting and echoing Alais's thoughts, "you could at least look happy about it."

"Yeah, lighten up," O'Donnell said, draining his wine glass, making Bob slam down his own glass, splattering Dawn's best Bordeaux all over the lace tablecloth.

"Back off, man," Bob said, "she's just being a typical teenager" -

- "Can I be dismissed, please?" Alais said, standing up, her chair scraping across the floorboards.

"Yeah, go," Licari spat, "an' take your sour face with ya."

Alais rushed from the room and up the stairs, unable to bear the hypocrisy; the lies; the way Dawn stared at the wine stained tablecloth, her hollow triumph in being made Lieutenant forgotten in the face of a small spill. The slightest sign of disorder and Dawn just shut down, zoning out before lashing out, trying to take back control by using violence. And because they had guests, she would sit and stew, silently seething, ruining everything even further with her rage.

Alais sat down on the top step, burying her face in her hands, wishing she was strong, that she could stand up to Dawn. But she wasn't and she couldn't. She was a burden, taking advantage of others, letting them carry her through life, instead of standing on her own two feet. She relied on Dawn; she relied on Joel. She couldn't rely on herself. She always had to have a hand to hold, even if it was a hand that hurt her.

_Distance makes the heart grow weak_  
><em>So that the mouth can barely speak...<em>


	2. House Of Cards

**House Of Cards **

_After_

Alais stood at the window, staring out at the ruined landscape of what she had once called home. Dawn paced the ground behind her, pinching the bridge of her nose with trembling fingers, her head bowed. The silence was overwhelming, but Alais could still hear the gunshots ringing out, each one a victory she could never call her own. After Beth had been brought back in, the officers setting the hospital in uproar with the news Noah had escaped, Alais had hid in her room, silently exulting that at least one of them had made it, attempting what she never could.

But when she'd heard her sister beating Beth, her exultation had fled, leaving fear in its wake instead. Dawn always argued she had to discipline the wards, even when she didn't want to, that she had to set standards, but Alais knew better. Dawn used violence as a means to assure herself she was in control, when in reality she wasn't.

Dawn had never been a leader, even though she'd dearly aspired to be. But she had always been last in everything, as a person, as a police cadet, as an officer. When the world fell apart, she'd seized what she thought was her chance, yet her grip on the reins of power remained as tenuous as ever. She had to humour those she was meant to rule, creating a contradiction, reducing the hospital to a house of cards that might collapse at any time.

Alais gripped the window sill, her fingers digging into the splintering wood. She had never been sure of her sister, whether she was a good person or not. Dawn had good intentions, but didn't the old saying say the road to hell was paved with good intentions? And Dawn was dragging them there with her good intentions. She'd dragged her here to Grady Memorial Hospital, forcing her to leave Joel behind...

In her darkest moments, Alais wished she had died out there with Joel, than be alive here, existing in a netherspace between being a pariah and one of the privileged. She cooked and cleaned, as well as assisting Dr. Edwards on his rounds and doing whatever else was asked of her. But even though she wore the standard uniform of blue scrubs and sandshoes, being Dawn's sister isolated her from the other wards, as they were wary of her and her of them, one side fearing retribution, and the other revenge.

"Alais," Dawn said, making her turn around, "did Gorman ever..." Dawn swallowed hard before speaking again. "Did he ever _harm_ you?" she said in a rush, her voice cracking.

Alais stared at Dawn looking the very picture of sisterly concern, her neat features twisted with torment. The sight nearly made Alais laugh, thinking of all the times Dawn had raised a hand and worse to her. Dawn might not subscribe to Gorman's kind of abuse, but she was just as bad, beating and battering those who didn't stay within the narrow confines of the world she had created.

"He tried to, once," Alais said quietly, making Dawn blanch. "But he backed off." _After she'd done a Dawn and smashed him across the head with a frying pan, _she thought bitterly.

"You should have told me!" Dawn exploded.

"But you already knew," Alais said in disbelief, almost marvelling at her sister's hypocrisy. "He molested and raped every woman you and the others brought here - what made you think I was off-limits to him?"

Dawn turned her back on Alais, shoulders hunching under her crisp black uniform. Alais exhaled sharply, her own shoulders slumping in relief. She hadn't even realised she'd been holding her breath, but it was almost protocol to do so around Dawn, since she was that unpredictable. She had risked a beating there in speaking to her sister like that, but she'd gotten away with it - this time. But every word she'd said was true.

Gorman had once cornered her in the kitchen, grabbing her and sliding his hands under her top, saying he'd had his eye on her for a long time, that he was tired of waiting. A vicious struggle had ensued, a struggle Gorman had won. He'd pinned her against the draining board, whispering that he'd go easy on her, for old times' sake. The next thing he knew was a frying pan colliding with his face. After that, he'd given her a wide berth, probably fearing her sister's wrath despite despising Dawn himself.

"Everything I have ever done for you was out of love," Dawn said from between gritted teeth, startling Alice out of her thoughts, "but all you've done from day one is shun me, building these walls around yourself - even when you were a little girl, you shut me out. That - that kind of rejection hurts, Alais, it really does. So you should have told me about Gorman. I would have _dealt_ with him" -

- "What, like you dealt with Hanson?" Alais said dangerously.

"Hanson was weak" -

- "No, Hanson used to be weak," Alais said, backing away as Dawn advanced on her, "all these years he covered up for you, giving you your promotion, pretending you were the perfect police officer when he knew you weren't - he was weak then. But when everything changed, he changed. He became strong, he stood up to you. He didn't like what was beginning to happen to the wards, the exploitation, the abuse - he didn't turn a blind eye when you did. So you killed him, you killed him to keep this all going, this hell" -

Dawn's hand collided with Alais's face, the slap resounding around the silent room. Alais reeled back, her hand flying to her cheek. The two sisters stared at each other, green eyes meeting brown, night fighting day, darkness duelling with light. Then Alais's face crumpled like a little child's, a terrible sob wrenching itself from her throat as she buried her face in her hands, hating herself for being so weak.

Dawn sighed heavily, before wrapping her arms around Alais's shoulders, resting her chin on Alais's tumbled reddish brown hair. Alais stared at the distant horizon, where the sun met the sky, where Joel waited for her. Then her arms slid round Dawn's waist, returning her hug, healing the breach. In letting her sister in, she had finally found her way out.

_It's a cruel cruel trick_  
><em>How we find ourselves<em>  
><em>When we lose everything else...<em>


	3. If You Dare

**If You Dare**

_Before _

Alais smoothed down the front of her vivid pink prom dress, the stiff satin creaking ominously as she swayed from side to side, humming _Hey Jude _under her breath. She didn't care if the colour didn't go with the coppery hue of her hair, or that her red glittering heels à la Dorothy didn't match her dress. Having colours clash was a way of life for her, an aspect of Alais that amused Joel no end. She embraced disorder with the same fervour Dawn detested it, and that was what divided them from each other.

She hadn't really wanted to attend the prom. Large crowds of people propelled her into a trance of mute terror, rendering her dumb and rooted to the spot. Alais only braved school because she had a small circle of friends acting as a safety net, fielding questions fired at her by teachers or escorting her down the bustling corridors. But as much as she depended on them, she also felt cast adrift from them, making her cling all the more to Joel, as well as Dawn against her will.

It had been Dawn who had pressurised her into going to prom, arguing it was a rite of passage, and it had been Dawn who'd picked out Alais's original prom dress, a discreet silver and green number with matching heels and wrap. It complimented Alais's colouring whilst ensuring she blended in with the crowd. But Alais had gone behind Dawn's back, buying her own dress out of her meagre savings, money painfully accrued from babysitting and doing odd jobs for the neighbours. She had other savings, not the kind stored in an old tin and stashed under the bed, but a savings account Dawn had set up for her, a savings account Dawn controlled despite it being in Alais's name.

The money was meant for her future, a future Alais wasn't exactly sure about. Dawn had dreams of her becoming a police cadet, carrying on the Lerner tradition of upholding the law, but it was becoming pretty clear to both of them Alais wasn't exactly police officer material. So Alais continued to dawdle, living in her dream world. None of that mattered now though. All that mattered was this moment, her reflection smiling back at her from the mirror.

_Take a moment if you dare_  
><em>Catch yourself a breath of air<em>  
><em>There's another life out there<em>  
><em>And you should try it<em>

* * *

><p>Dawn glanced impatiently at her Cartier watch, a Christmas gift from Hanson, dismissing the diamonds encrusting the frontispiece, only seeing the seconds slipping by. They were going to be late, a faux pas Alais never failed to make.<p>

"Calm down, Dawn," Hanson cajoled, "you know what young girls are like, angstin' over their appearance."

Dawn glared at him. She only put up with Hanson's puppy-like devotion because he was reliable. She insisted on only surrounding herself with people she could trust one hundred per cent. Anything less and they'd be barred admittance to her inner circle. But she never seemed to realise Hanson bent over backwards for her because he was head over heels for her. He only covered up for her because he coveted her, turning a blind eye to all her sins. On the one occasion Hanson had dared to upbraid Gorman and the others on their misconduct, they'd made it clear to him if they were going down, so was Dawn. So Hanson harried on, chasing dreams that would never come true.

Dawn started to pace the floor, patting her already perfect chignon into place with even more perfectly manicured fingers. She had volunteered to help chaperone at the prom so she could keep an eye on Alais, ensuring she stayed away from Joel and drank nothing stronger than fruit punch. Her own dress was designer, a flattering bias cut, modest but modiste, the rich dark green fabric flattering and flawless against the backdrop of her tanned skin, green eyes and dark hair.

A step creaked above them, making Dawn sharply glance up, startling Hanson who was slower on the uptake. Alais descended the staircase, shoulders hunched. Dawn's face darkened. Then she was gone from Hanson's side, taking two steps at a time, her suddenly claw-like fingers circling Alais's wrist like manacles as she dragged her sister down the stairs.

"What on earth do you think you're doing!?" Dawn shrieked, shaking Alais like a rag-doll. "Look at you, you're a mess!"

"Dawn..." Hanson began nervously, only for Dawn to whirl on him.

"Wait in the car," she ordered him, her features becoming contorted with barely controlled rage. Hanson swallowed hard, before turning and leaving, closing the front door quietly behind him.

He'd barely left before Dawn grabbed a handful of Alais's artificially ringletted hair, dragging her across the too polished floorboards to the large mirror hanging by the living room doorway, almost ramming Alais against the glass.

"Look at you!" Dawn spat. "You're _hideous!_"

"Dawn! Please!"

"You're wrong, all wrong," Dawn said more to herself than Alais, shaking her head from side to side. "I'll have to correct you..."


	4. It's A Long Way Down

**It's A Long Way Down **

Alais idly pushed the mop back and forth, humming to herself as she did so. She preferred the hospital when it was like this, silent corridors stretching as far as the eye could see, making her feel like she was the only person left in the world. It was during these times she felt closest to Joel, the silence bridging the chasm between life and death. As she continued to clean, she glanced up in surprise as Beth began to sing, the sound muffled slightly by her bedroom door.

For several moments, Alais stood there, listening as Beth sang on, letting the sound of the other girl's voice wash over her. The few days Beth had been here, Alais had more or less avoided her, like she avoided the others. Things like trust and friendship didn't exist in this world anymore, least of all at the hospital. From a distance, she'd watched Beth struggle to fit in, recognizing something of herself in Beth, only to realize she was nothing like her.

Despite being beaten and battered, despite failing to find freedom, Beth still found the strength to sing on. She was still fighting. Alais swallowed hard, blinking back the tears. She too had to find the strength for what she was about to do. Without thinking, she started singing as well, her voice following the melody, rising and falling almost in time with Beth's, creating a rough harmony that rang out through the silent corridors.

_Hold my hand  
>Ooh baby it's a long way down to the bottom of the river<br>Hold my hand  
>Ooh baby it's a long way down<br>A long way down_

_If you get sleep or if you get none_  
><em>The cock's gonna call in the morning baby<em>  
><em>Check the cupboard for your daddy's gun<em>  
><em>Red sun rises like an early warning<em>

_The Lord's gonna come for your firstborn son_  
><em>His hair's on fire and his heart is burning<em>  
><em>So go to the river where the water runs<em>  
><em>Wash him deep where the tides are turning<em>

_And if you fall, if you fall_

_Hold my hand_  
><em>Ooh baby it's a long way down to the bottom of the river<em>  
><em>Hold my hand<em>  
><em>Ooh baby it's a long way down<em>  
><em>A long way down<em>

_The wolves will chase you by the pale moonlight_  
><em>Drunk and driven by a devil's hunger<em>  
><em>Drive your son like a railroad spike<em>  
><em>Into the water, let it pull him under<em>

_Don't you lift him, let him drown alive_  
><em>The good Lord speaks like a rolling thunder<em>  
><em>Let that fever make the water rise<em>  
><em>And let the river run dry<em>

_And I said hold my hand_  
><em>Ooh baby it's a long way down to the bottom of the river<em>  
><em>Hold my hand<em>  
><em>Ooh baby it's a long way down<em>  
><em>A long way down<em>

* * *

><p>Alais closed the door to the guinea pigs' hutch, feeling a pang at the sight of them getting fatter and fatter. Soon they would be slaughtered, ending up on the plates of the privileged, whilst the wards had to make do with whatever had been scrounged up from outside. Depending on what mood Dawn was in, Alais subsisted on a diet that was a mixture of feast or famine. But Alais didn't mind skipping meals when it was guinea pig on the menu. Her nature naturally craved affection, and finding none at the hospital, she'd taken to lavishing love on the guinea pigs, even as they ignored her most of the time.<p>

"Do they have names?"

Alais turned around, her face paling slightly at seeing Beth's battered one. Despite the friendliness in Beth's blue eyes, Alais instantly felt uncomfortable around her, frightened even, fearing retribution for what her sister had done to her.

"I had a hamster once," Beth said quietly, her gaze shifting to the hutch. "She was called Hammy."

Alais shifted from one foot to the next, wishing Beth would just go.

"It was a stupid name, y'know? But it suited her," Beth said wistfully, looking at Alais again.

Alais just shrugged her shoulder, feeling stupid now.

"You have a nice voice," Beth said, smiling a little. "Did you sing before the Turn?"

Alais flushed at the memory of last night's brief rebellion, trying not to remember the way she'd ran back to her room afterwards, in case Beth had came out to speak to her like she was doing now.

"I have a big sister too," Beth said in a low voice, stepping forwards, "but she's not like yours."

Silence.

"I'm not like my sister, and I don't think you are either," Beth pressed.

"I'm not strong like her," Alais said, finally speaking, her voice cracking.

"I think you're strong," Beth said, her eyes very bright in her battered face, "stronger than your sister anyways."

* * *

><p>Alais knocked on Beth's door, checking over her shoulder to see if the coast was still clear. When nobody answered her knock, she opened the door regardless and slipped inside, her nerve going. Beth was sitting on the edge of her bed, hands folded almost primly in her lap, spine straight, head tilted defiantly. She looked surprised to see Alais, making the other girl realise she must have been expecting a visit from Dawn.<p>

"Hi," Alais said uneasily, remembering their earlier, awkward almost one-sided conversation.

"Hi," Beth said, smiling slightly.

"I'm sorry about before," Alais said in a rush, "back at the hutches. I'm not used to people being friendly, at least not anymore." She winced slightly at how hokey she sounded, cheesy even.

But Beth didn't seem to mind, only smoothing down the bed sheet with a slightly shaking hand.

"I'm sorry about what happened," Alais said, sitting down beside her, "what she... she did to you."

Beth just looked away.

"But I'm not going to be used as a pawn against her," Alais said, voice cracking, "so don't even think about it. I've got my own war going on with her, without starting up another one."

To her surprise, Beth laughed at this. "Okay," she then said, "friends then?"

"I can't be your friend," Alais said, looking away this time, "I'm getting out of here, and I can't take anyone with me, even if I wanted to."

"Good," Beth said, grabbing her hand, startling her, "if you can get out, you get out, do you hear me?"


End file.
